Advice from Dr. Blingspice: My friend is stealing my man!
Relationships and friendships are falling apart approximately 200 times faster than athletes on their electric scooters. It’s that time in the semester when everyone is tired and holding onto their sanity and patience by a sad string.
Testing students’ sanity is a backstabbing friend who’s tossing themselves at the crush of another, a relationship held together by a $7.99 per month Disney+ subscription and a terrible heartbreak. No matter the quarrel, a fallout is bound to happen sooner or later.
As easy as it may seem to close your eyes and exile people from your mind and social media, some need guidance with the concept of “in with the new, out with the old.” Dr. Blingspice will hold your hand and guide you through the trashiest of friends, boyfriends and exes.
I met this guy freshman year and I’ve liked him ever since. One of my close friends has been making moves on him, and she definitely knows that I like him. What should I do?
Whenever she’s around, throw more hints that you like the man. Since she hasn’t received the message yet, a subtle “I would marry him if I could” or “I’m planning the proposal soon” would suffice. If she continues to flirt with him, it’s time to have a discussion with her about wanting to take your man. If she values your wishes as a friend, she’ll leave him to you.
In the case that the discussion backfires, embarrassment is always a way to maintain checks and balances. When he asks you about your friend, sabotage her chances by painting her out to be the villain without compromising his impression of you: “She doesn’t shower,” “She doesn’t like dogs” or “She tripped a toddler on purpose the other day.” A friend who doesn’t acknowledge your interests isn’t someone you want in your life. Demonize your way to a man and cut that girl out of your life.
My partner dumped me completely out of nowhere after almost three years … How do I tell them that I’m canceling the joint Disney+ account?
Don’t cancel the account yet. Three years in a relationship can’t be thrown to waste without anything to gain. Who cares about the memories? Find their credit card information, assuming they sent it to you in the past, to treat yourself. Replace your credit card information with theirs and immediately change the password to something unguessable. Nothing should come in the way of you and a “Wizards of Waverly Place” marathon, no matter the significant other.
There’s no need to tell them you’re canceling the account if you can’t secure the bag. They deserve no warning. Simply change the password so they’re logged out of all devices and cancel the subscription. Next time they want to watch Marvel movies, they’ll wish they were still dating you.
I got my heart broken as a freshman, and it put me in a bad place for months. Now, over a year later, I’ve started developing feelings for someone else, but they hardly know I exist. I want to be more outgoing again and at least start a friendship with this person, but I worry that even the slightest feeling of disappointment or heartbreak could send me spiraling or make me lose all the progress I’ve made in my self confidence since then.
Everyone deserves happiness at least once in their life, including you. A philosopher by the name of Cher once asked, “Do you believe in life after love?” and the answer is that you should. Don’t let a sour experience ruin your perception of romance and listen to your emotions. In the long run, heartbreak and disappointment are temporary, but a friendship or a significant other can easily turn into something memorable — and perhaps even a free blueberry matcha latte from Dulce.
Disappointment is sometimes inevitable, but don’t let it ruin all prospects. You should be in a positive headspace where you have more than one source of happiness before entering a relationship where you solely rely on your partner. Depending on other people for your own joy is a set up for disappointment, which is why you have to ensure you’re prepared for a relationship.
If you need advice, feel free to reach out to Dr. Blingspice by direct messaging Daily Trojan on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook or by submitting your questions to the Google Form on the Instagram stories.
Emanuel Rodriguez is a junior offering advice on students’ most pressing questions. He is also the Audience Engagement Editor at the Daily Trojan. His column, “Advice from Dr. Blingspice,” runs every other Friday.