Tea-sha: Build-a-personality: spring edition
Nothing compares to the arrival of spring: chirping chicks, blooming buds, fragrant foliage. But spring also encourages us to throw out the trash for some much needed spring cleaning — which for some of you is your entire personality.
Spring is a chance to reinvent before your next fling. Whether you look to be an entirely new person, try out some new hats (or personalities, if you will) or discover your identity, spring could be the perfect chance to try something different.
Don’t know where to begin? Inspiration can be found anywhere — from the dark recesses of Marshall’s snake-filled hallways to the School of Architecture’s given-up-on-life vestibules. Mix and match until you find a combination that works for you.
Less is more in normal circumstances, but when everything about you is irredeemable, you might want to start from scratch and build yourself one layer at a time. Here are some personality combinations to get your reinvention started:
Annenberg’s charming persona and people skills with a dash of SCA tortured artist
As both an Annenberg and SCA major, I can assure you no other combination comes close, but achieving this God-like status is not for everyone. The confident, all-knowing, always-on-Twitter Annenberg traits meld with the tortured, art-is-subjective and work-my-bones-off SCA persona to create a masterpiece.
To successfully pull off the tortured artist personality, all you have to do is sigh a lot and come up with confusing, nonsensical interpretations of any media you consume. Some keywords that might help you achieve this are “auteur,” “pastiche,” “male gaze” and “use of color/sound/cinematography to convey…” If nothing else, talk about how the state of the character’s room or surroundings reflect their inner state and turmoil to fit right in.
For the Annenberg portion, make sure you download Twitter and post or retweet serious articles along with some unhinged hot takes. To truly fit in, make sure to read up on news so you always have something to say on any topic that comes up. Absolutely bombard people you talk to with questions and nod along with whatever they say. Until you’ve acclimatized into the role, avoid any discussion about “fake news,” “distrust in media,” “decline of journalism” and “THE MEDIA” to avoid throwing hands.
Marshall’s snake-tendencies and networking prowess with a sprinkling of SDA’s mastery of being the center of attention
A very dangerous combination, this fusion of personalities is not for the faint of heart. In a spiral going after what you want and drawing attention to yourself while networking and forging strong connections — all sprinkled with hints of ruthlessness — it can be easy to lose all sense of yourself.
If you wish to take on multiple personalities to blow the socks off any connection you meet, this could be the right fit for you. The SDA traits of playing different roles, tapping into other characters and always performing because “All the world’s a stage” will serve you well.
Marshall’s resourcefulness and determination will help you get in the door, but to really play the part well, remember to put profits over people: mention capitalism saving America and talk your ear off about Crypto, NFTs and the metaverse. It can’t hurt to mention Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk as your role models.
Viterbi’s smart and nerdy demeanor with a frosting of Dornsife’s resilience
The combination most likely to make a difference in the world and achieve success — Viterbi’s awkwardness and intelligence are complemented with the adaptability and strength of Dornsife for an award-making personality.
Viterbi’s hyperfocus and knowledge pair well with Dornsife’s jack-of-all-trades persona and resilience derived from not being taken seriously and working with less resources.
This pairing includes both logic and an understanding of human nature that make it a force to reckon with. Dornsife’s accepting persona will allow you to fit in with anybody, but there will be challenges in pretending to be a Viterbi kid without math and science skills. Just read some stuff about trains, airplanes or cars, that should probably do the trick.
Thornton’s passion meets Roski’s taste with a cherry topping of the School of Architecture’s hard work
A personality that demands perfection and follows their heart no matter the cost and challenges. The talent, the taste and the skills are impeccable but also require a lot of sacrifice.
Not everyone has what it takes to excel at any cost and choose a harder path that does not gain enough recognition or respect compared to other mainstream options, which makes it the rarest personality type to cultivate.
Developing the skill necessary to truly succeed can be a steep hill to climb, but beyond the hill is a community of accepting and other talented individuals who will accept you.
While building yourself a new personality is much harder and not as cute as taking home a stuffed animal with you at Build-A-Bear Workshop, making room for the new in your life by changing and becoming a better person is sometimes the only way to move forward.
Once the trial period ends, make sure you’re truly satisfied with the personality you’ve chosen because you’re the only one who has to live with it.
Twesha Dikshit is a senior writing tongue-in-cheek satire on everyday life, the world around us and our daily march toward death. Her column, “Tea-sha,” runs every other Monday.