What your UPC parking structure says about you


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As the school year ramps up, choosing a parking spot may be a decision that you’ve already made — even though that’s something that all the responsible students did in the summer. But if you’re one of the few still in a jam about where you should sit and yell about a minor inconvenience in your car, let me provide some helpful context on what your chosen parking structure means about you.

“But Lois,” you, the traveling Trojan, ask. “What if I have all my classes in just one building? Isn’t my decision basically already made for me in terms of what structure to park in? Can I really be judged on that alone?”

While I both don’t rely on my astrological sign to determine how bad I am in relationships and I act as a Downey Way loyalist, I encourage you to diversify your parking and check out the rooftop views at sunset (as your USC parking permit permits). So, let’s talk parking and personality.

Downey Way

Shoutout to all my Downey Way brethren. We have to deal with the fact that the closest viable exit on Vermont has been thwarted by construction. However, we can make do with the other entrances on Exposition and McClintock for the meantime. If you are one of the people who parks their unnecessarily large SUV in the compact parking areas, know that we all have to compensate for something every now and then.

Jefferson Boulevard

Y’all a parking lot?

Royal Street

LOL nerd, you parked near the library. You might occasionally see some freshmen scouring around the lot, dancing around or making TikToks or smoking weed — I’m not really sure what they’re doing half of the time.

McCarthy Way

As much as I hated fighting with rideshare drivers just to get into the lot, I am a secret sympathizer of the McCarthy Way folks. Located near the libraries, McCarthy Quad and those beach volleyball courts that generate endless championships, this parking structure has its fair share of nice views. You adore these views too, but hate the fact that you’re adjacent to the troublesome freshmen dorms.

Figueroa Street

Solid placement if you’re on the Marshall side or if you are vibing at the USC Hotel. You take a great deal of pride in your ride, noting the carded gates and mechanical doors that make your parking structure a concrete and metal sage.

Flower Street

I usually don’t let minor things bother me, but my ex parked here once, so this building officially means you are dumb. Apart from that, the lot is also a nice spot for Marshall and Tuscany students.

Grand Avenue

You forgot to sign up for parking or really love traversing far distances.

USC Shrine

I actually love the people who park in the Shrine, or at least my three best friends who park in this structure. Like the McCarthy Way folks, two words that make your world spin are “Event Parking.” You’re aware of your surroundings and assert yourself when the situation is right, like the blaring alarm that goes off when exiting the lot.

USC Village

If you’re not getting parking validation at some store in the Village, someone is giving false emotional validation.

There are plenty of other options that you can take into consideration — if you park on the street, you’re on another level. Even the incredible singer, songwriter and all-around icon Olivia Rodrigo can’t parallel park, so you got that going for you.

Regardless, as long as you find solace when you hop in your ride before traveling home, you can have whatever personality you want.

Drive safe, Besties.

Lois Angelo is a senior writing about the perks, downsides and necessities of the commuter lifestyle in his column, “The Carpool Lane.”