A DT Care Package: Six reminders for National Suicide Prevention Month

Content warning: The following article contains references to suicide and mental health.

When considering suicide as one of the leading causes of death among college-age adults, second only to car accidents, USC’s utter lack of prevention initiatives isn’t just ignorance. It’s criminal. In the state of California, it’s a felony to deliberately aid, advise or encourage another person to commit suicide, according to Cal. Penal Code 401. Having Yellow Jackets on top of the Shrine Parking Structure is damage control, the bare minimum. This isn’t something you can ignore. We are part of a community that is being challenged to commune and support each other. As National Suicide Prevention Month enters its second week, here is a small care package with six reminders for our Trojan family. 

One for yourself:

Feel the pain. Every Friday night, I look around at the themed fund-ragers I’ve Fryfted to and wonder to myself: Why don’t I feel anything? If the lights were to come on at these functions accidentally, you would uncover the real nature of partygoers. In the age we’re in, we’ve been willing to pay double digits, desperately hoping it will help us find ourselves in places such as parties where the expectation is that you will lose yourself. Stop attempting to staunch the emotions you feel — even the negative ones, especially the negative ones. It doesn’t have to be pretty. Don’t make rainbows from precipitation. Let that rain permeate you so that, when you are finally ready, you have what it takes to grow.

Also, remember you don’t have to face the storm alone. No matter how lonely you feel, somewhere in that dark crowd of partygoers, there might just be someone in the same boat you are — treading water. You are not alone. A life raft is just beyond the horizon.

One for the roommate:

Whether you’ve chosen your roommate or taken your chances on a random assignment, taking notice of your roommate’s methodology and habits is a significant part of cohabitation … but have you ever truly taken the chance to connect with them? Create and contribute to a safe environment of expression. In conversations, listen with no intention of offering unwarranted advice. Sometimes, just being the one person who cares can change everything. Learn the warning signs: feeling trapped, withdrawing, increased substance use, reduced inhibitions and self-neglect. And, if your roommate seems to be secluding themselves, find any excuse to get them out of the house. Even just a change of environment can be magic.

One for the lonely:

Mental health can be very hard to talk about. It’s isolating to feel vulnerable when you’ve meticulously curated your image to seem confident with your Instagram feeding a Pinterest-worthy aesthetic. However, 73% of students with mental health conditions have experienced some sort of mental health crisis during their college years! You’re in the majority! Though anxiety and depression can make you feel uniquely alone, there are 49,500 other students at this school who may be able to understand your struggles and stand with you! In his new PSA with the Seize The Awkward campaign, sophomore quarterback Caleb Williams says, “Pressure doesn’t have to be carried alone.”

One for the friends and lovers:

If there’s one thing more powerful than a hereditary bond, it’s one of a chosen family. No, it’s not just a phenomenal Rina Sawayama song, chosen families are the people you’ve adopted into your life. Through my experiences loving and losing people, I’ve learned two truths. When people you love pull away, fight the instinct to pull them back. Instead, meet them where they are. When you’re feeling desperate, it can be hard to remind yourself of your worth. Another truth is the power of Love Languages. Realize that the way you express love may not necessarily be the way someone else receives it! How are we supposed to express gratitude and appreciation when we don’t know what ways someone wants to receive love? You’ve promised to stay through the triumphs and the trials, so remind them of how much they are loved. If it’s what they need, kiss the homies good night!

One for the grieving:

I’m so sorry for your loss. Take time for yourself, and give yourself the room you need to breathe. It’s alright if you don’t want to or can’t talk about it right now, but when the time comes, there are people who will be there to listen. Your emotions are wholly your own. Grieve as long and hard as you need to. Reach out to your family, chosen or hereditary. You are loved, you are seen and there is a system of support for you whenever you are ready to receive it.

One for the questioning:

Hi. My name is Au, and I have been here before. It took me eleven years to forgive my nine-year-old self. It may take me 11 more to forgive the person I was at 15. But I’ve survived this far, further than I ever would have believed I could when I was at the bus depot after the worst night of my life, further than I had thought months ago during finals and the one before that and the one before that. 

We are each a tapestry of our past experiences, motivations and emotions. So, although I wish there were prescriptions and catch-alls, there is no type of rationality or solution to our feelings. Each day is a choice, each previous one a victory. I used to believe that my situation was so unrelatable and inconsequential that for a very long time, I didn’t tell anyone how awful it felt to simply exist. I was scared of judgment, being told that I was seeking attention or seeming weak.

And yet, despite the paranoias and anxieties, telling a friend what I was going through was the best idea I could ever have made. I had been very self-destructive the few months leading up to that night, pushing loved ones away and isolating myself. I deprived myself of feeling anything good because I was so scared to feel something bad. It was an off-the-cuff decision to text my friend. A simple text turned into a call that turned into a night of tears I thought had dried up a long time ago. People who I pushed away had been waiting to listen, and I felt so much love and support when I told them the truth.  

I beg of you to give yourself another chance. If not for who you are right now, do it for the you who would be proud of how far you’ve come and for the people whose lives you’ve unknowingly changed. 

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 988. For more Counseling and Mental Health Services, you can contact USC Crisis Support at 213-740-9355.