Classes brought to you by budget crisis


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A 21st century philosopher once mused: Fall is here, hear the yell/ back to school, ring the bell/ brand new shoes, walking blues/climb the fence, book and pens/ I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Yes, as another Labor Day has come and gone, it is once again time for most little Trojans-in-training […]

Mexican drought a sign of global warming


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For Californians, drought is a common nuisance. Expensive cars are washed with less frequency, imported plants are left to the elements in would-be pristine yards and water bills are regarded with a wince. Nevertheless, people are never forced to forgo showering for a few days or wash dishes by hand rather than in the dishwasher. […]

Colloquialism slams language


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Cheney slams Obama. Jon slams Kate. Chavez slams Israel. Karzai slams NATO. Amazon slams Google. Sony slams Apple. If we were to take this spate of recent headlines at face value, boy, what a barbarous culture we would look like — what with people slamming people slamming organizations slamming countries slamming people. It seems we’re […]

Court of law doles out wrist slaps to celebs


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It’s a strange place, that Hollyweird. Whatever name you prefer — Tinseltown, Lala Land, the Thirty-Mile-Zone — there’s no denying the uniqueness of this one California city. It is a place where fantasy fights reality and, more often than not, wins. The fantasy can vary, but make no mistake about it, only an elite inner […]

Naysayers overlook CARS’ value


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Although cynics will point out that the $3-billion bill is just another example of the wasteful government spending, the reality is that CARS has generated tremendous profit.

Gullible fans hop on hoax video of MJ’s resurrection


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Fact: Michael Jackson was pronounced dead at 2:26 pm on June 25, 2009. Fact: The Los Angeles County coroner’s office has come out and declared that the cause of death is likely homicide, caused by a lethal cocktail of drugs administered by Jackson’s personal doctor, Conrad Murray. Fact: The deceased have a history of staying […]

Why, I do have a uterus. You’re welcome.


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This column is not for all readers. If you’ve ever purchased tampons that were designed to look like pieces of candy to save yourself from embarrassment, you might consider turning the page. Similarly, if you insist on referring to your own menstruation or the menstruation of someone you know as “a visit from Aunt Flo,” […]

A gay old time at movement’s expense


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With speeches here and interviews there, let’s face it: All that ever sticks with us are sound bites — short, 10-second remarks that get straight to the point. In politics, there are obviously quite a few notable ones: President Barack Obama’s “We are the change we’ve been waiting for;” Richard Nixon’s “I’m not a crook;” […]

Death of Shia leader leaves party in limbo


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Thousands of mourners lined the streets Saturday morning to pay their respects to Shia leader Abdul Aziz al-Hakim, who died last week from lung cancer. Although he never chose to take an active political role within the central government, his role as leader of the major Shia group the United Iraqi Alliance, his influence and […]

Swine flu less dangerous than shoddy coverage


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Back when I was 10 years old, I took a nasty spill on my bike and felt a searing pain in my arm. Now I’m not a doctor, but I correctly diagnosed myself with a broken bone; I was right back then, so I figure I’m on about the level of a licensed physician by […]