Imagine looking into the eyes of your significant other.  You’re about to tell her you love her, but she beats you to it — except she misspeaks or something.  “I see you,” she says, sweetly and meaningfully.

Matteo Marjoram | Daily Trojan

Unless your girlfriend was formerly blind, you probably wouldn’t be impressed.  More likely you would wonder why the heck she just quoted the blue aliens from James Cameron’s newest film, Avatar. Recent scientific findings, however, suggest that we could learn a thing or two from the movie’s Na’Vi about leading successful and fulfilling relationships.

In this month’s issue of Scientific American, psychologist Robert Epstein discusses his research in an article called, “Fall in Love and Stay That Way.” He writes that one of the most effective exercises for intensifying love is what he calls “soul-gazing.”  Prolonged, mutual eye contact correlates with significant increases on tests that measure self reported feelings of love, even with total strangers — due in part, Epstein says, to heightened feelings of vulnerability.

“The Na’Vi have an experience of unity of consciousness with other beings, all of which (themselves included) are really just manifestations of one Being, which they call Ai’wa,” wrote Jay Michaelson, a Huffington Post columnist, in a December article.  He explained that the Na’Vi phrase for “I see you” is supposed to mean “the God in me sees the God in you,” communicating the perception of, and consequent unity with, another individual’s soul.

The connectedness of all life forms in the movie can be compared with that of the more than 100 billion neurons in the human brain.  Each cell in the human brain communicates with between 5,000 and 200,000 other neurons, transmitting chemicals back and forth through synapses, the spaces between the neurons  — like the end of a Na’Vi ponytail to the little hairs of their horses.

The human capacity for being similarly “one” with others seems practically nonexistent. It’s not like our eyes are actually transmitting anything when we look into someone else’s. And although we can sort of see each other’s thoughts by sharing information using language, we can’t actually unite consciousnesses with anybody, let alone with any God we might believe in.  Or can we?

Research suggests that mirror neurons, the cells in our brains that respond as if we were experiencing what someone else is experiencing, may hold capacities similar to the ones portrayed in the movie. Scientists have concluded that mirror neurons are largely responsible for empathy.  When you watch someone stubbing a toe, the firings in your brain “mirror” the other person’s, as though you were stubbing your toe.

Moreover, studies have shown that meditation can actually strengthen this effect.  In 2008, a University of Wisconsin study showed that meditation correlates with an increased firing capacity in mirror neurons — that meditating may be a legitimate way to increase compassion because people who meditate regularly show more pronounced mirror neuron activity than those who do not.  Some Eastern philosophers even believe meditation can put us in touch with a sort of all-permeating consciousness (not unlike the movie’s Ai’wa).

Spiritual beliefs aside, we might be able to make serious progress in the depths of our relationships by merging meditation with Epstein’s “soul-gazing.”

In high school, during a retreat intended to help my senior class bond, every student in our class of more than 120 was required to stare into the eyes of each other student for a full 60 seconds.  Our teachers told us that the experience, which would take multiple hours, would be more powerful than anything we could imagine.

For the first 45 minutes we were all snorting and rolling our eyes and feeling exceptionally awkward.  Then, someone in the complicated arrangement began to weep —  then somebody else (unmistakably a male, this time) did as well. I gradually realized my whole body was beginning to feel a bit tingly, like a foot falling asleep except it was a totally pleasant and uplifting sensation.

Pretty soon I was crying from the overwhelming intensity of the feeling. Looking into the eyes of my classmates, it was as if I could see through all of the superficial judgments I had made into something more profound; something that was reaching into me and communicating the same unconditional, selfless appreciation.

Recalling the experience, I believe our prolonged eye gazing induced a form of mass meditation, which combined with the eye contact itself helped us approach the capacity to “see” each other.

So now, imagine looking deeply into your lover’s eyes — or your enemy’s — for such a long time that your mind begins to clear.  Visualize the capacity to love anybody, genuinely and unselfishly, simply by looking.

Would you consent to see?

Jean Guerrero is a senior majoring in print journalism.  Her column “Scientastical” runs Mondays.

Correction: A sentence in the third paragraph originally read “Prolonged, mutual eye contact correlates with significant increases on tests that measure attraction, even with total strangers — due in part, Epstein says, to heightened feelings of vulnerability.”  The word “attraction,” which was changed during the editing process, implies a type of sexual attraction, which is not what the study was meant to convey.  The sentence now reads “Prolonged, mutual eye contact correlates with significant increases on tests that measure self reported feelings of love, even with total strangers — due in part, Epstein says, to heightened feelings of vulnerability.”